Jared... say it ain't so...

Subway Guy was a Porno King?

According to TMZ, Jared – the Subway guy – ran an adult film emporium from his dorm room at Indiana University. His collection was said to be "vast and extensive," and rental rates were hard to beat – a dollar a day per vid. A source tells Best Ever Week that the real reason Jared starting eating Subway wasn't because of health concerns, but sheer laziness. Turns out that Subway happened to open a franchise on the ground floor of his dorm, so it was the closest fast-food joint to Jared's room.

I can hear the funny music playing in the subway commercials now... bow-chicka-bow-bow...