Shreveport/Bossier Barbies

This showed up in my inbox today.  Enjoy!

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ANNOUNCEMENT: Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Shreveport/Bossier area:

 

"Southern Trace Barbie"
This princess Barbie is sold only on Line Ave.   She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade, Prada and LV Handbags, Rolex watch a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a 25,000 sq ft. patio home..  Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.  

"North Bossier Barbie"
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation.  Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. 

"Cedar Grove  Barbie"
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife,a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ..unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about. 

 

"Stonebridge  Barbie"
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2.  Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them. 

"Haughton Barbie"

This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.  Warning:  Does not play well with "Cedar Grove Barbie"

 

"Keithville  Barbie"
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own

high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Butler Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

Watch out for the fuzz

You've heard about cities and states talking about huge budget deficits that they have to cover somehow.   The financial resolution?  It could be our police and state troopers.   Really!

Today, I read a new study that says, for every 1% drop in government revenue, the number of traffic tickets issued goes up by 30%!!!    So, there's a decent chance that economy is not only slowing down your spending, but will soon slow you down on the streets too.

In other words, if the local and state government isn't hitting their number, they're going to be hitting you up for the rest of it... on the road.

So make sure you go the speed limit, or avoid driving Arthur Teague Parkway in Bossier....

Bringing Hairy Back?

I'm kind of embarrassed about it.... I've been hiding it under layers of clothing. But now, it's back!  Word has it that being hairy is "in" again.

Remember "Manscaping?" According some people who have nothing better to do that study body hair says manscaping is out in 2009.  Apparently this trend could be because of the poor economy, since guys can't afford to get waxed anymore they just go back to being all natural.

That's great for me, I'm a furball except for the one place on my body where I am follicly challenged: on top.  Sheesh!

Josh Brolin Arrest Video

Video of the arrest debacle of actors Josh Brolin and Jeffrey Wright in Shreveport back in July finally released to the public.  Brolin and Wright were in town shooting a movie.  Filming had just wrapped and they were out celebrating.  Apparently, there was a bar fight and the Shreveport Police were called to put the smack down.  Both actors were arrested for allegedly interfering with an officer.   Check out the video. Leave your comments below with your thoughts!

Happy New Year, where are you?

Happy 2009, I hope you enjoyed the holidays, got some time off, engorged on masses amounts of food, knocked over the Christmas tree due to masses amounts of alcohol.  Ya know, the usual holiday stuff. :)

I'm glad to be back at work and gearing up for what I hope, and plan on, will be a great year.  With all the doom and gloom you hear on the news, it's a wonder if we will ever get out of this mess. I think we're at rock bottom now.  They only way to go now is up... Stay positive, this country still rocks.

My New Years Resolutions:

1) Get healthier... which means more walks and exercise for this fellow that likes to eat.--->me
and 2) Not argue with the IRS if they want to give me money back to me this year.

What are your resolutions for '09?

Happy New Year!  Woop Woop!